i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
