Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
two words: eviction party
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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