What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
