New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
