That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
