never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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