What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
