btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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