So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize