You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
