just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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