The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
