They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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