so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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