can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
