Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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