What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
