tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
