Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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