it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
