I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
