You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
