I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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