on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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