Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
