I want to have your abortion
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
