lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize