The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
