I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize