Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
