Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
