He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
