when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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