this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
