So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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