you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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