She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
