My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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