You can't motorboat a personality
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
