My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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