they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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