You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
