whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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