i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize