trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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