She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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