Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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