There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
