I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
