White coat. Heels.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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