..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
