You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
