i wish my penis had a tongue
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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