Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
