i think my tv is drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
