I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
