Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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