So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
