Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
