escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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