Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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