that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just cropdusted the office
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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