just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize