playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize