Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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