Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
