i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Drake has all the answers
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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